I honestly never thought I’d be a “mum”. It’s just something I never felt I could do. I never felt strong enough to go through with it all. The pregnancy, the birth, the sickness, having a little person who really would be sick and would need me. My aim in life has always been to try and avoid being sick. So why on earth would I voluntarily decide to get pregnant and bring a little person in to the world that also, will be sick?! Wtf? Well, I decided to do this because I refuse to let emet rule my life. It does already in soooo many ways. I did not want it to stop me being a mum. I was scared about having a girl though. I know my worries are completely unfounded but I felt if I have a girl, there is more chance she will end up emet too. I know my son could be emet. I truly hope with all my heart he isn’t. He is a good eater that’s for sure. And he really doesn’t care squat for washing his hands and hygiene – I often come in from the kitchen and catch little man feeding yogurt to our cat. Nice.
Anyways, so what has being a mum taught me, from an emet standpoint? It has taught me a billion and one things (that I miss sleep more than I ever knew?! And that I really wish id cherished me time a bit more pre-baby!!). But from a vomit phobia perspective, I’ve learnt the following:
- I can be strong – I remind myself every time my boy has been sick that I’m bloody doing this and I CAN do it. I CAN cope and I WILL cope.
- Things ARE ok – Even if I am sick or my boy is sick, the world goes on. It’s ok. In my mind, I have pre and post vomit time lines. Having my son has taught me that these really shouldn’t matter (they still do L )
- It isn’t a big deal. Being sick that is. Yes I know it is really (eek) but it shouldn’t be and every crap sicky, vomity day I deal with makes me stronger and teaches me that I’m ok?
- My old, safe, emet traits are complete bullshit. All the things I ever held close to my heart, the things that would save me from the inevitable, well its crap. The only thing that can save me is, well me! And I HAVE to do that for my boy.